Tweet
Her Talk
I was so embarassed the other morning. I was jogging in town with my trainer who is so very fine that I could not keep my eyes off his incredibly georgous self. We were talking and laughing during the exercising and he kept reminding me to stop making him laugh or one of us was sure to fall. I have to say he was totally right because not only did I fall, I made a very hard fall off the sidewalk, into a pine tree in a split stance. I lost all control of my body and took out several limbs of the tree which gave new meaning to the term "highlights" because my hair was full of pine needles, dirt and sap. My head hit the tree pretty hard and I was seeing stars. All I could do was laugh as much as possible to avoid the look of pain on my face. My trainer was worried at first but after seeing my hysterical laughter, he started giggling as well. Not only did I lose any self respect, I wet my pants during the fall. I was so glad I had on black yoga sweats that didn't show my loss of control. I managed to get up and dust myself off with as much class as I could muster with only a slight concussion, banged up knee and several bruises but none as severe as my bruised ego.
Her Talk
Well, I will tell you. I had to leave the swimming pool to relieve myself apprently of the two pounds of the jerk chicken I had just swallowed. Yeah I was in Jamica, and yes I had smoked some great weed and had eaten like hell. Shortly there after, I felt a terrible rumble inside. I immediately left the pool and sprinted for the hotel restroom. I looked like O.J. Simpson hurdling through the airport. About the time I hit the toilet seat, my water broke. What a relief, I made it just in time. I thought I was going to be okay but boy was I wrong. The water from my bathing suit had dripped onto the marble floor creating a hazard that almost changed my life. As I tried to spring up on my feet, causing me to slide forward at the speed of light. I drug my family jewels across the edge of that toilet seat for the closest shave a man could ever have. Immediate defoliation of my testicles had just taken place. Now my back was against the toilet seat and my feet lodged against the ledge of the stall and all my man stuff hovering over the most vile spot in a man's restroom. All I could think about was the impending infection that I was about to contract when my freshly shaved cod met with the urine stained floor. So I managed to roll left, get on my feet and sprint back to the swimming pool with the hopes that the chlorine in the water was strong enough to kill off any disease that may have not yet entered my body. This had to help because it burned like hell when I entered the water. It's been ten years and I am still alive.
Her Talk
I was so embarassed the other morning. I was jogging in town with my trainer who is so very fine that I could not keep my eyes off his incredibly georgous self. We were talking and laughing during the exercising and he kept reminding me to stop making him laugh or one of us was sure to fall. I have to say he was totally right because not only did I fall, I made a very hard fall off the sidewalk, into a pine tree in a split stance. I lost all control of my body and took out several limbs of the tree which gave new meaning to the term "highlights" because my hair was full of pine needles, dirt and sap. My head hit the tree pretty hard and I was seeing stars. All I could do was laugh as much as possible to avoid the look of pain on my face. My trainer was worried at first but after seeing my hysterical laughter, he started giggling as well. Not only did I lose any self respect, I wet my pants during the fall. I was so glad I had on black yoga sweats that didn't show my loss of control. I managed to get up and dust myself off with as much class as I could muster with only a slight concussion, banged up knee and several bruises but none as severe as my bruised ego.
Her Talk
Well, I will tell you. I had to leave the swimming pool to relieve myself apprently of the two pounds of the jerk chicken I had just swallowed. Yeah I was in Jamica, and yes I had smoked some great weed and had eaten like hell. Shortly there after, I felt a terrible rumble inside. I immediately left the pool and sprinted for the hotel restroom. I looked like O.J. Simpson hurdling through the airport. About the time I hit the toilet seat, my water broke. What a relief, I made it just in time. I thought I was going to be okay but boy was I wrong. The water from my bathing suit had dripped onto the marble floor creating a hazard that almost changed my life. As I tried to spring up on my feet, causing me to slide forward at the speed of light. I drug my family jewels across the edge of that toilet seat for the closest shave a man could ever have. Immediate defoliation of my testicles had just taken place. Now my back was against the toilet seat and my feet lodged against the ledge of the stall and all my man stuff hovering over the most vile spot in a man's restroom. All I could think about was the impending infection that I was about to contract when my freshly shaved cod met with the urine stained floor. So I managed to roll left, get on my feet and sprint back to the swimming pool with the hopes that the chlorine in the water was strong enough to kill off any disease that may have not yet entered my body. This had to help because it burned like hell when I entered the water. It's been ten years and I am still alive.